I have 5 weeks of house arrest and the biggest bitch in here has started a problem with me. I'm sorry the second biggest bitch. The biggest bitch is Tiffany. I feel like the world wide web still is not enough to get control of how pissed these two make me. As I write I can feel my brain itching.  I feel like you have to be a fucked up bitch to communicate with these two, and they do it together. Roslyn is a lier and a she steals and Tiffany is bossy bitch and a idiot. I am feeling a little better that the whole world can read this and my side of things is all there is. But thats just how fucked up these two are. they play a person like the two handles in a pin ball machine. The ball just gets hit back into the game. I'm about to unplug there damn bull shit game and its going to be GAME OVER! 

On another note I have only 5 months left of treatment. I'm not sure what happens after. There is a whole process to getting an apartment. Oh god these Bitches are on my mind like a scab on a wound. I haven't been able to focus on my treatment at all.  Like I realize this whole time I'm in Denial. When I entered into treatment my grandmother passing left me some money. I think I was able to turn money into drinking and be happy what even though I couldn't have a drink I had money to spend.  So I went into Denial about my drinking and drug use and spend money.  I wasted about $3000 to $4000 dollars, and I spend over $5000 on food and clothes. Now that I'm about to get out ( I thought it had something to do with the money still but I do have some left) I've somehow told myself that I can go back to drinking and drugging. But I kind of don't want to. More on that later...

Something else I've found is I might have a birth defect, or brain damage from drug use while I was in the womb. This really matters. Because I've been keeping track of the problems that are " out of my control " and This would be the first one.  Followed by hitting a tree and getting minor head injury, Drinking, and Drug use, Addictions, and finally Alcoholism. These are the major problems in my life. 

(My hands and feel are in bad shape) 

Never mind that for now. I've also found that my right nose whole is slightly closed. I don't get enough air to the right side of my brain. I tried breathing today and I felt so energized I got up and started writing. Now I'm going to eat. I'll be back.