Lately the women here in treatment have been fucking up. Today Veronica came to me and told me her and Gloria drank on there pass. and Karen got her nipples pirced (sp) I mean I'm sitting here in my room with coffee but I'm not out there drinking and breaking the big rules. They keep telling me like I'm trust worthy, and its making me so tired. between trying to stay sober and my mental health problems I can handle keeping secerets from staff about these women. Sometimes I just want to give up.

On another sad note, I was talking to myself today.  I can't remember is it was the good kind of self talk or the bad kind. (like crazy people do). I was walking back to the house and I started to cry. I was upset because I have suffered so much in the last 18 years and I'm in court ordered treatment so I count now. Anyway I tried to tell myself that shortly after college and the army I got sick with a mental illness and its been hard because I've wan' ... Read more »