I have a secert. It is so bad it is messing up my whole life. Before I'm even in trouble I'm in trouble and dealing with more problems.  I don't know if I blame my adopted sister my little sister or my parents but I'm ready to come clean of this so I can go on with my life. 

When I was a kid I put another's kids dick in my mouth.  I was much older then he was. Nobody reads this shit anyway. But maybe if I blog and I mean daily, about it I will start feeling better. And before it sends me on another wild ride. Or  worse. There I feel better. It looks like i feel really bad about it. I was like 14 and he was like 6 months.  I really was protected by law that I was a minor but my little sister set me up and told my family that I molested someone. and My shitty family has held a dark light over my head. I think this is the source of ALL OF my problems. I could even write about it for hours. knowing it might just might make my life better.  If I get it out I'll feel 100% BETTER.  I tried telling some of the women I live with but I'm not really into hearing what dumb people have to say. Though they did suggest therapy and confession. They failed to mention keeping that shit to my self and journalling or blogging for the world to know if its holding my ego back.  When i started blogging about the staff hear, I was finally able to work with them and understand them.

its so stupid. All the "what if's" I've put myself threw. What if someone found out and put me in jail. What if I became famous and it came out that I was a child molester.  My side of the story stands. I was only 14. that really is the age of a minor.  but I'm not a child molester. I admit I was the kids baby sitter and I problablly should not have not do that but I had a head injury and a sister who told me about molestiation and I didn't really know what I was doing. I would either be held in a mental health court and as a minor IF there were even charges pressed. I've hated my family for labling me a child molester and a crazy person.  I'm neither just a victiom of jealisousie.  I'm like the man in the iron mask.  I didn't do anything but believe that people who said they loved me. Shame on me for still trusting them and calling them family.  I trusted them.  I believed they would be there for me. The not only told my secrets they ostersized me from the family.  

Well now its on the internet.  Where I get 1 to 1000 or so ( more like 1) following me. and if i do clear up and get my life together (when I do) I will have this worked out so that it doesn't cause me anymore problem.  I have a head injury and not a mental illness. but some how I have to get threw to myself that I was just a kid and this isn't that bad. 

1 i was just a kid

2 don't trust my own family (ERIN FOR SURE)

3 don't drink any more. 

fool me once shame on my fool me twice shame on you.

you hit my car

you kicked me while I was already down

you told everybody my secret. 

its time to get rid of my little sister. 

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. THIS HAS ALREADY MESSED UP MY LIFE. I'M LUCKY I CAUGHT IT BEFORE I GOT INTO MORE TROUBLE.