To be honest I'm just writing because I have nothing else to do.  Here I am spilling my guts over the internet because I know nobody will read it anyway.  I have nothing to do. This program is almost over and I do, I want out.  I've blogged, wrote a book, had my loans written off, played games, watched the same movies over and over again, listened to the same songs over and over again, and blogged some more.  I even had my own successfull business. I have to go. There is nothing left in me today. 

So I stayed in the program for two years.  When I first got here I found a way to drink.  I had to shots of Jack Daniels on a conner. I thought this was going to be easy.  I got in touch with my sister and she told me that I was getting money from my grandmother passing away.  No amount of money really could replace her but I was excited to get such a large amount.  I had never had so much money.  I was told that I almost didn't get it.  

I realized then that my family didn't like me.  Maybe they loved me but they didn't like me. They wanted the money over seeing me get my share.  After that I didn't really give a fuck about my family. I still don't.  They treat me like a black sheep. And to my surprise maybe I am.  I never would have thought with all the high school events and accompishments I would be so bad.  I guess I'm different. I have to do things my way.  They all have jobs ... Read more »

Aww where do I start today.  Another day no free. What to do with myself. Maybe sobriety. No matter where I start my birthday is coming up.  I wish I was excited about it. In truth I kind of am. My father says that he might come out to Long Beach if I am there to see me.  The women here at the program say that they will throw me a birthday party if I visit.  I might spend my birthday alone if I don't plan anything.  

I'm so sick of this twitch I have.  When I was getting off the streets I went to stay at a house.  There were men everywhere.  The kept trying to have sex with me.  Because of my drinking I finally said yes.  One night two different men offered my rocks of crack.  I had never do it before.  But I was trying to keep up with what was going on around me.  I thought I saw a TV show about cocaine being on of the drugs that created immortality.  Being so in to that idea I took one of th ... Read more »