So I've been out in LA for about 8 years and I'm finally making new friends. Granted we all came from jail so I don't know how stable the relationships are. But I remember I came from Jail too.  In fact I remember it well. So I'm careful not to judge them and also to trust them.  I hope this program is working that we are becoming more stable people and can stay in each others lives.

I was telling my mom how I'm in LA and I've paid my due's.  So now I get my life together.  I don't know if I'll stay in the movie making business or go to owning my own website and trying to get my life together with that. but either way I have, I've paid my due's so I might be owed something and it might, just might get better. 

I think the main thing is that I stay sober. I think Sarah didn't wish me well and still doesn't.  I think we are to close and we need some space from each other. I think codepend ... Read more »

I have to tell you, you make me feel bad. I want you to just leave me alone.  Don't try to contact me. You need to leave me alone. I mean it. Do not contact me. 

1. Be Confident.

2. Stay Connected.

3. Use Simple, Unemotional Language.

4. Set Limits.

5. Act quickly and consistently.

6. Strike while the iron is cold.

I've had to look at my life to see what is bugging me and I've like everyone I guess, have found more than one thing. Today I had another break through.  I realize that a person I've held close to me has be manipulating me with bulliing.  I know I'm spelling it wrong but oh well.  She's my sister ( adopted sister) Sarah.   She would be one of the only people who would read my blog because I think she sneaks around my life and watches what I do. But I don't care I'm cutting her off either way.  I'm realizing more and more that she's been a bully to me since we were kids. So what do I do about it. Well the damage is more than therapy because she has bullied her way into my family and has been in it over 30 years now.  I never realized she was bulling me. If I had I would have cut her off a long time ago.  But she used me and my friendship to get adopted and she has been a really bad person in my life for some ... Read more »

I have a secert. It is so bad it is messing up my whole life. Before I'm even in trouble I'm in trouble and dealing with more problems.  I don't know if I blame my adopted sister my little sister or my parents but I'm ready to come clean of this so I can go on with my life. 

When I was a kid I put another's kids dick in my mouth.  I was much older then he was. Nobody reads this shit anyway. But maybe if I blog and I mean daily, about it I will start feeling better. And before it sends me on another wild ride. Or  worse. There I feel better. It looks like i feel really bad about it. I was like 14 and he was like 6 months.  I really was protected by law that I was a minor but my little sister set me up and told my family that I molested someone. and My shitty family has held a dark light over my head. I think this is the source of ALL OF my problems. I could even write about it for hours. knowing it might just might make my life bet ... Read more »

I started a few websites in the month of June and already they are all closed. I'm mostly upset about Immortal Lounge. I made www.immortallounge.com and it failed. It actually made two sales but I wasn't able to keep up with the payments and the bills.  Plus I kept loosing accounts. I lost ebay forever. They will not let me sale on their website anymore. Not even with a new account. I almost lost Google. Ugh. it's a mess. I'm so lost I couldn't even close the store.  It's just a big mess. 

Anyways. Thats starting over.

Life plans look a little bit better. I have a long list of things to do.  Its to keep me from getting board. I feel like I can get my life together. My main focus is to stay sober. I have plans to go to A.A. and apply Holistic Living to my life.  

I'm taking diet pills to loose weight. I am very hungry and moody. I don't want to live here anymore and the apartment is not coming fast enough and I'm very hungry. 

www.immortallounge.com

www.prophecy22.com

www.naturallyout.com

alcoholism sexuality changing enlightenment drugs smoking lifestyle mental health issues friends family family money. god. 

Its GAY PRIDE MONTH.  and I'm coming out more. Well instead of being a girly biesexual, I think I'm a soft stud lesbian. and I don't think my life as anything really to do with God. I think accepting my mental health issues is first accepting that I am a ALCOHOLIC! and to accept that I'm a alcoholic is to accept that I'm a soft studded lesbian.  my mental health problem is from believing in god and thinking I have to be some female house wife while working my ass off to make that happen and drinking during the two. 

So I have a clothing line idea. first I'm pissed at my dad he wrote on my facebook that he doesn't like to see two girls kissing.  I feel like I'm in college all over again.  I think my parents are the reason I'm gay and the reason I don't want to be out about it.& ... Read more »

stay sober

meditate

exercise

take meds

eat right

stay single

stop smoking

manage money

how am i going to do this?