Ok I think its getting better.  The Gabapenton, which I was trying to write about in my last post is really relaxing me. Being to stressed out to do anything is where I was so its making a big difference. up next raise my mood with out it going to stress. umm I see were the problem is. raising the lamictal should help. The last thing is to be SELF DISCIPLINE.! 

Ok I always tell myself its ok to be me. heres the possible problem. What if I don't want to do whats good for me? Ok I've got it.I have to search myself to find where I find the things that are good for me interesting. Then I should want to do them not need to do them because I feel I wish I could. Like I think about working out and it goes through a complex deal till I just don't want to do it anymore.  If I simplify my own ideas or focus on them they should come through or a reason or two should come threw. What If I could get my authentic self to do the things I really love. (that are good for me of course). Enlightenment maybe? Success? Who knows were it could go.  Maybe just a better life or a simple one. The goal is to have a GOOD LIFE. 

Being high on Gaba today makes me feel good. Because I am staying in the rules. I went back for more and they didn't want to give it to me. But I don't go for it at night. I don't wan to be dependent to much on the drugs Even if they are prescribed. 

Well I have to go for now. I want to give my next few blogs some real thought. I have smart people who might read them. 

peace,

Daysend