Being in this treatment program is so boring.  Yesterday I went to the bathroom and got so excited. Its a damn shame.  Well I guess I'm loosing weight on this Apple Cider Vinegar.  I keep going to the bathroom. Why am I talking about going to the bathroom! GOD this place is killing me its so boring. I try not to get Sobriety mixed up with treatment. You know like living a sober life might be fun, but this treatment program is not. I found a few "tools" to help with sobriety.  One is a book called "love yourself sober" and the other is a app called Sober Buddies.  I was trying to be creative and I came up with the idea of sober buddies only to find in my Google search its already out there. Needless to say I am now paying $9.99 for my own idea. 

I need to stop spending money. Four months is going to go by fast and I could have $2000 saved up if I played my cards right. Again I am feeling a flow. Don't want to write on that to much I might get blocked again.  I've signed up for Match.com that cost $27 dollars a month and Spacehey, witch was free. I'm really tired of some of the women here. I can't put a finger on it because I'm spinning with kindness.  I guess what I am tying to say is, in getting along with everyone, which I only do to stay out of Jail, I can't tell who I really like and who I don't.  I just want to stay out of Jail, and get out of this program. I would send my mom a couple of hundred dollars a month and make my stay real tight but she'll just buy junk with it.  I'm better off trying to stay entertained and do the things I think I need to do.  My mom is so ... Its just not a good idea for us to live together.  I used to think she was going to ready my blogs, shit I even wanted her to for support, but she never does. Nobody does! LoL. I don't care its also for writing and now that I'm sober I seem to be able to remember how to type. Oh no here come the block. 

My head injury makes it so hard to think. I either think to slow, all mixed up, or to damn fast. When I think of how many people are not looking at my site I realize " just type what you want" sometimes it doesn't make since at all.. sometimes its not even words back there in past entries. But with respect to the World Wide Web and my common since I try to make something out of writing endlessly.  Just no to night. LOL. 

So I met a few guys, two are assholes and ones a nudest. I hope my love life gets better with sobriety also. Its really shitty.  Yeah so I went to the bathroom and from drinking the Apple Cider Vinegar I let go of some sick shit. I feel so light and I even fell better. I don't see a difference in my weight but I think I will because I have to push my stomach down when I go to the bathroom and thats making it smaller.  My sober buddy who is a really bad Alcoholic gave me the vinegar and she's got another bottle when I finish it.  I was listening to a audiobook, love yourself sober and fell asleep. now I'm just looking at my roommate be gross. Speaking of Gross  I met a man with the last name Gross, and he tried saying its Grass, but what ever. I'm just biding time till I go through my next round of movements. Its like I lay in the bed all damn day thinking of ways to stay sober. I can't really find any, because the only reason I even think to be sober is to work on something in this program so they will leave me alone. I wish I didn't really have a drinking problem though. I should have stuck with something I don't care about so I wouldn't be really going threw changes. 

I'm thinking about writing some more but I have nothing I want to write about. Oh I guess I have a bad attitude. I call it my dark side. and there is even a song for it. Welcome to my dark side. When someone else makes you this way. I was hurt as a kid. So I don't trust all people. It wasn't like that at first. and  I still trust the tooth fairy. My damn roommate is a dumbass. anyway My parents left me behind and thats why I don't trust people. Well I'll write more later. If I'm going to snack it better be now. peace